Volcano

i have now seen an active volcano and I can definitely say that it was pretty amazing! We went to Mt Yasur on Tanna Island, Vanuatu - billed as "the world's most accessible volcano". It last had a full eruption about 25 years ago, but it is constantly active and shoots up molten lava from 3 vents 10-20 times every hour. The lava pit was about 50-100m below us, and the lava was being thrown several hundred metres in the air then coming back down to land all around the rim and back in the pit. When we visited it was at level 3 (of 5), which was pretty good as it meant it was active but we were able stand at the top and peer in - when it is level 4 you can only watch from the car park, and when level 5 I think you have to stay back in the village! On the path at the top our guide pointed out a rock about the size of a sofa that had landed there about 3 weeks ago and the path was strewn with rock of various sizes, so you tell that it is fairly active.

Pictures and even video can't really do justice to the experience, but I'll post a few anyway to give an idea:

Our 4WD in the ash field with the volcano in the background:

Rosie and I posting postcards at the volcano postbox (in Vanuatu they like "extreme post" - there is also an underwater postbox!)

Lava eruptions:

I tried to add in a video of a little eruption but after an hour uploading it failed so I don't think that will be possible! It was very impressive though, honest :)

Dragons!

While not officially on my life list, I had an excellent experience this morning watching a private dragons training session and then meeting the team :) Boots knew someone who know someone who made this happen - it was fantastic! The team and coaches were all really nice, welcomed me and organized group photos plus a couple of individual ones and finished the signature collection on my jersey (kindly started by Scjohnson) We even met Darius Boyd's dog (Charlie), a very cute little thing who was brought along as he is being looked after by a teammate while Boyd goes to Brisbane for the game tomorrow night!

Boots & I with the team:

Coach Wayne Bennett getting my jersey signed:

Jason Nightingale (my favourite player) and myself:

Pills Pills Pills

I have been on new Chemo for a week or so now, to try to reduce the latest cancer metastases in my liver. This time it is a drug called xeloda, which I take as tablets, four pills twice per day. Each cycle is two weeks on, one week off. The only side effect so far is occasional nausea, which can actually be really painful - retching with this chest pain - ouch!! I definitely prefer Chemo pills to getting it via IV though, so I really hope that these work, at least for a while, would make life much easier. I am going to do two cycles on xeloda and then get a ct scan to see if they are working.

I still have some aches and pains, which I think are related to the cancer rather than the Chemo. My lower back aches quite a lot and sneezing/yawning/hiccups/sitting up really hurts my chest. I have a selection of "hillbilly heroin" painkillers to take, but they don't seem to make much difference, make me feel a bit dopey and I don't want to be reliant on painkillers just yet, so I am trying not to take them.

I went to a Chinese doctor to try some alternative therapy on Wednesday and had a great electroacupuncture session (pressure points like acupuncture but using little electric shocks!) so I'm looking forward to another one next week. He also gave me a selection of Chinese herbs to improve blood circulation and digestion, which I am going to trial for a few weeks, see if they make a difference - not sure yet if they are doing anything, but keeping an open mind!

We have booked to go to Vanuatu at the end of June, to see an active volcano and also to spend some relaxing beach time. I'm a bit worried about taking a turn for the worse, either before we go or while we are away, but (touch wood) hopefully all will be well and we'll have a great time :)

Incurable

It seems that while radiation may have worked on the cancer in the lymph nodes, the worst has happened and it has now spread further, to my liver, and is incurable. I had chest pain on the weekend and got a ct scan to look for a potential blood clot, which showed multiple areas of cancer on my liver :( My chest is hurting because they are pushing on my diapragm (sp?) so causing pain when I breathe (which is all the time, obviously).

This news is unsurprisingly devastating. I started Chemo (tablets) today to try to slow it down, bit given the speed it has grown (scans two months ago were clear) the oncologist is very concerned. Worst case is that Chemo doesn't work, cancer causes liver failure and I die within the next few months. Best case is that this Chemo or another one can stabilize it for a few years. Guess I wasn't meant to get old and grey, but to die young and beautiful (well, you know what I mean!)

The US trip is now off since if I were to fall ill and/or die it would be rather costly there and I can't get insurance. Appealing to the better nature of qantas (who seem reasonable) and sta travel (who do not!) to get a refund. Considering coming to the uk instead, to see family and friends. At least I'll get healthcare there and can perhaps see a bit of Europe if I'm feeling ok.

Radiation finished!

I had my last radiation session on Friday, so that is now done - 33 sessions including 5 "boost" blasts to give some extra dosage to some of the lymph node areas (I think). Now just have to wait 6-8 weeks whilst it continues working then get more scans to see if it has done the job. The area that has been treated is quite obvious from the skin - it is quite clearly marked with what looks like sunburn - funny looking but should go down over the next few weeks :) I'm also occasionally having pain when breathing, hoping that will stop soon, since it is something I try to do regularly!

Radiation Side Effects

I'm now well into radiation (about 23/33) and the promised side effects have now appeared! They really seemed to come up quickly over the last few days. The skin of the treated areas is red/blackish brown, like a really bad sunburn. My underarm is particularly painful! All I can do is apply sorbelene several times a day and wait for it to go away, in a month or so... I'm also really tired. Other than that, all good :) The lumps on my neck seem to be going down, which is good, hopefully the other ones that I can't feel are being successfully zapped too!

I have booked a trip to the USA with Hubby for when radiation has finished, so really looking forward to that! Will be ticking a few more things off the life list - LA to Vegas in a convertible and New York :)

Radiation & Life List Update

I have now had 9 radiation sessions (out of 33). I have to go in every day (except weekends and public holidays) for about 20 minutes. Most of that time is set up - they draw on me with marker pen around my tattoos and then turn off the lights and use lasers and "shadow rulers" to line them up according to certain measurements (22.7 then 95.8, whatever that means, then chin to chest of 10cm). They go out of the room whilst the radiation is on progress, as when you get an x-ray, then come back in to reset the machine for the next area - I think I have 5 blasts aimed at various areas each day. I can't feel anything at the time, other than a slightly achy arm from holding it above my head for 20 minutes, but after a couple of weeks the area being treated (neck, breast, underarm) will go red, similar to a bad sunburn, then get worse, eventually getting better about 3 weeks after radiation finishes.

I am also now on a monthly injection to shut down my ovaries, so that they don't produce estrogen. This is because the initial breast cancer biopsy showed the cancer cells there were estrogen-receptive (meaning estrogen helps them to grow). However, yesterday the oncologist called to say that the biopsy on the new nodes in my neck showed that while they look like breast cancer cells (as opposed to another type of cancer) they are not estrogen receptive. This is a bit strange, we will continue with the injection (since I haven't been having any adverse side effects), but I am a bit concerned that the hormone treatments aren't actually going to do anything. A bit more discussion is required, I think...

Life list update: I ended up having a week off between hospital appointments before radiation started, so I decided to make the most of the opportunity and snuck off to an island called Bohol in the Philippines, where the star attractions (other than some lovely beaches) are the world's smallest primates (tarsiers) and the Chocolate Hills.  I didn't actually get to hold a tarsier in my hand but I did get to see them very close up in their natural habitat so I am very happy, as I have wanted to see them since I first read about them (when I lived in the Philippines ten years ago). They are about the size of a fist, have massive eyes and are noctural so looked a bit dopey, but they are possibly the cutest animal ever - I wanted to take one home! The Chocolate Hills weren't technically on my life list, but since they are on the same island as the tarsiers I always planned to see both. There are thousands of hillocks, about 100m high, dotted over the landscape and at the end of summer they turn brown and look like chocolate drops, hence the name. They weren't brown yet (about the end of May is best I believe) but they were still amazing, very impressive. Photos below...