Finding Out I Have Breast Cancer

I can't remember the exact day, but a couple of weeks ago the top half of my right boob went really hard, noticably different to the left one, almost overnight. Not a lump as such, more of a thickening or swelling. I wasn't too worried, thought it was related to changing contraceptive but figured that I should go to a doctor to get it checked out. However, seeing as I am a very busy and important person :p I didn't get aroud to it in the first week. Actually I did try to go on the Saturday (16/10), but the medical centre had lost power so couldn't see me. 

On the Saturday I also decided that, as part of some mid-life crisis as I thought, that it would be fun to buy a convertible to enjoy driving to work in the Sydney summer. Spent Sunday test driving cars then settled on a lovely second-hand silver Peugeot 207cc to buy. Got the car on the Wednesday, loved driving it that day and had almost forgotten about my naughty boob.

In the shower on Thursday morning (22/10) I felt the lump again and decided that I really should get it checked out and decided to pop into a medical centre that happened to be on the way back to the car. Saw a nice female doctor who thought it was probably hormonal, related to the pill, but recommended getting an ultrasound just to be on the safe side.

Booked the ultrasound for the first available time - Tuesday morning (26/10). Knew that they were concerned by a few things that they saw - not that I could see much. The girl doing it called in a colleague for a look and said they needed to consult the radiologist doctor when he got in and I'd probably need to come back later for him to look first hand. Got a call back at work to say that he wanted me to come back at lunchtime for a mammogram and another look. Rather hard to concentrate at work, had a little cry and tried unsuccessfully to do something constructive until it was time to go back.

Mammogram was surprisingly painful - hadn't anticipated that they squash your boobs to x-ray them! Radiologist had a feel and another look and said that he wasn't sure what was there, "nothing to hang my hat on but I think there is something", so he was going to phone my GP and I should get her to refer me on to a specialist. Hmm, not sounding too good...

Stopped in at the medical centre on the way back to see GP, had a discussion about hospitals and she said she would get me in somewhere the same week. She phoned back before I had even got back to work with an appointment with Professor West at the Royal Prince Alfred (RPA) on Thursday morning.

Went in to tell my manager what was going on. Ended up crying whilst trying to explain, an excellent look for a professional such as myself :) She was very supportive, sent me home and said to take whatever time I needed.

Spent Wednesday (27/10) trying to not to think too much about it, well, in between googling breast cancer... Found a great American website called breastcancer.org which had lots of info and also forums where people were discussing their issues. Most emotional was reading a series of posts started by "Kiri's mom"... It started with her posting that her 25yo daughter had found a lump and then gone for testing. The mum was going to pieces with worry, while her daughter was getting on with things and not really talking about it - the daughter sounded like me in many ways. Scrolling down through messages of support and encouragement she then posted that breast cancer had been diagnosed... it was quite a shock and kinda upsetting, even though these people are strangers, I really felt for them! And had a moment of realisation that this was probably going to be the outcome of my testing too...

Hubby took Thursday (28/10) off work to come with me to see the specialist, Professor West. The appointment itself was quick, he had a feel and a look at the ultrasound and mammogram pictures and said that I needed to have a biopsy that afternoon at the RPA breast clinic. I had googled RPA and so knew that they had these clinics twice per week, on Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. He said that he was going to discuss me at the multidisciplinary meeting prior and then do the testing.

The clinic was organised chaos, lots of people (though I felt like I was the youngest) and they didn't have me booked in so had to try to track me down. Prof West was about, he said to go downstairs to get the biopsies then to come back and see him. Eventually I was sent down from the main waiting room to another waiting room, then to another waiting room, each one getting smaller. Then got called in to an ultrasound room with a nice lady doctor. She had a look on the ultrasound and I asked how it looked and what it could be if not cancer. She said she was "very concerned" but perhaps it was an infection - not very convincing as a potential alternative I thought. Hmm, again, not looking good.

I needed 3 biopsies - lymph nodes (which look abnormal), the thickening above the nipple and a strange looking "mass" below. Lymph nodes by fine needle, the other two by core biopsy. 3 times for each section. It was done under local anaesthetic so didn't hurt too much, though the scapel and big needle for the core biopsies were abit offputting. It was actually quite interesting though watching the needle on the ultrasound screen going into the scary black areas - reminded me of the medical sciences part of A-level physics, when we went to the Lister Hospital. They said the biopsy results take a week, which seemed a very long time to have to wait...

Afterwards I went back to see the Prof. He said that they had had a quick look at some of the samples under the microscope and that there were definitely cancerous cells present. I think that they already knew that this was going to be the case and the biopsy was just to confirm and for the staging process. He also said that he was recommending that I have chemo in order to shrink the tumour before they operate. I took the news with some sniffling and welling up, think that I already knew. I didn't realise how hard hubby had taken it until the nurse leant over, picked up tissues and gave them to him. Weirdly felt like I had let him down in some way.

More appointments scheduled - CT scan on Friday (29/10) and bone scan on Monday (1/11) to see if the cancer has spread (past the armpit lymph nodes) then oncologist to discuss results and treatment on Tuesday (2/11). Already looks like it's going to be a full time job fighting cancer!

CT scan was interesting, involved drinking iodine then having an iodine IV which makes you feel hot in the groin and like you have wet yourself. Nice...

A sidenote (and my rant for the day) is that I can't believe the parking charges at the RPA medical centre - who on earth thinks it is reasonable to make sick people pay $18 an hour ?! I mean, surely you know that you are a bit expensive when you make Sydney airport look reasonable...

Anyway, that's about it for now. Was a bit longer than intended, but lots to cover! Will post again after I meet with the oncologist and get my chemo plan. Perhaps with more feelings that facts next time, see how I feel :)