Incurable

It seems that while radiation may have worked on the cancer in the lymph nodes, the worst has happened and it has now spread further, to my liver, and is incurable. I had chest pain on the weekend and got a ct scan to look for a potential blood clot, which showed multiple areas of cancer on my liver :( My chest is hurting because they are pushing on my diapragm (sp?) so causing pain when I breathe (which is all the time, obviously).

This news is unsurprisingly devastating. I started Chemo (tablets) today to try to slow it down, bit given the speed it has grown (scans two months ago were clear) the oncologist is very concerned. Worst case is that Chemo doesn't work, cancer causes liver failure and I die within the next few months. Best case is that this Chemo or another one can stabilize it for a few years. Guess I wasn't meant to get old and grey, but to die young and beautiful (well, you know what I mean!)

The US trip is now off since if I were to fall ill and/or die it would be rather costly there and I can't get insurance. Appealing to the better nature of qantas (who seem reasonable) and sta travel (who do not!) to get a refund. Considering coming to the uk instead, to see family and friends. At least I'll get healthcare there and can perhaps see a bit of Europe if I'm feeling ok.